Only Cowards Cook on Low


This was the little sign that used to hang over my friend’s stove.

I have lived my life by many rules, but this one gets me in trouble.

When I do something I like to do it 110%, usually until I get distracted by some other interest (squirrel!!) but now I’m 40 and the heaviest I’ve ever been and trying to get back in shape by running (one of the few exercises I like/am able to do on a budget of nothing). As a result of my love affair with the couch, I’ve had to take that little sign from the back corner wall of my mind and put it away. Also the fact that my legs, ankles and feet look like a road map of pain. A graphic to illustrate:


My hubster always says “low and slow is the way to go” as I am caramelizing our food (it’s not burnt, it’s brule!). It always brings out the toddler in me. I just get so impatient! After all, hotter = faster, so begone with all the sage advice! Or chop something! Here, take these onions, I forgot to add them earlier!

Where was I?

Oh yes, that he is right. (At least about the running thing). There it is, in actual writing. Photograph it and frame it, Chris.

Unfortunately, as slow as I’ve already been going I’ve had to take it down yet another notch. Never mind the fact that I have good shoes with double insoles inside, or the fact that I run SUPER SLOWLY (not with the graceful, gravity-defying sproing-sproing-sproing of a gazelle, but more like the tucka-tucka-tucka of a turtle trying to jog upright as I toddle side to side). Oh, and never mind that I walk more than I run. There’s that, too.

I have to take it even slower.

Last week I felt knots, tightness and weird pains all around, the kind I know from experience I can’t run through or else. So I took a good portion of the week off and focused instead on stretching, squats (huge help), walking, chowing down on ibuprophen and giving myself massages that would make a wad of pizza dough tremble.

My leg bruises from relief-bringing massages.

My leg bruises from relief-bringing massages.

I’m going to get back out there again tomorrow. Low and slow.

And as for that little sign in my mind?

I didn’t exactly throw it out. I’m a pack-rat, so let’s just say it’s in storage.

Now if you’ll excuse me, the smoke detector just went off.

…No reason.

If you can’t take the heat…

If you can’t take the heat…