Toddler Diaries 7

 
Baby-Cusses-Illustration-Allegra-Khan-Burble-and-Balter.jpg

Toddler Diaries, Entry 7

 

Is minding own business.

Mummy want me to a-speak.

Says: “Courtney, I have those treats you like. Can you say ‘mummy’?

Mummy?! Is NO challenge! HUHN! Offended.

Mummy: “Come on…say Mummy!”

No!

Daddy say: “How about ‘daddy.’ Can you say ‘DADDY?’”

Me: “Da-EE!”

Daddy: “Good girl!!! Here’s a treat for using your words!”

Mummy: “Okay, how about…Banana. Can you say Banana?”

Me: “Banana!”

Mummy: Yay!! Good job! Here you go!

Mummy: Now try mummy.

Sigh.

Daddy: “Hey Courtney, see the color on my shirt? What color is it? What color?

Me: “Bu!”

Daddy: “That’s right! Blue! Here’s your treat. How about ‘thank-you. THANK-YOU…”

Me: Tan-tu!

Mummy and daddy: “AWWWWWW!!!”

Mummy say ‘give her 2 for that!’

So I get a two!

I say: “tan-tu!”

They gives more.

“Tan-tu!” “Tan-tu!”

Is fun and a rewarding!

“Tan-tu!”

Mummy say: “Sorry Courtney, no more treats for now.”

“TAN-TUUU!!!”

Hides bag.

Need to impress – quick. Think fast. Need Big words. Important words. Words mummy say when steps on toy blocks. I takes breath, aaaAAANND:

“#@%$^!!!”

Dad has a stare.

Mummy has a stare, too. Also is red.

Daddy say: “Courtney! Did you just swear?!”

Mummy say: “Oh…No…That was just gibberish.”

Gibber-dish?! No way! So I say a-louder:

“#@%$^!!!”

Mummy covers face.

Daddy staring at Mummy.

Mummy say: “Gosh darn those heckin’ TV shows!”

Daddy: “Hunny…? I don’t think the Bubble Buddies use that particular word. Any idea where she heard it?”

I points. “MUMMY!”

 

I so helpful.

 

-Allegra Khan, burbleandbalter.com

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